Guilty Pleasures
Stop denying yourself!
So this has been on my mind a LOT lately.
Why do we downplay the things we enjoy? Why did we blow them off as “guilty” pleasures? Is it because we’re afraid of how people will react?
Honestly, for me, it’s not. I really don’t care if the random person I’m talking to thinks that loving found-footage movies is stupid. That’s their opinion and I don’t need to make it my problem. I’ve luckily reached that age where IDGAF. And yet, I still refer to it as a guilty pleasure.
Whose guilt? Because it sure as hell isn’t mine.
Think about it…who taught us to feel guilt over something we enjoy? And why? Because it’s not “normal” or socially accepted? Now, there’s obviously a few caveats to that, that I’m not going to get into here, but you know what I’m talking about.
From a very young age we (especially if you’re female presenting) have been taught to not stand out, to be normal (there’s that word again), and to fit in.
Oh, gods. Fit in.
You remember that, right? The struggle to be accepted, the need to be like all the others so that you’d have a sense of belonging. I mean, I get it. When we’re young, we’re desperate for friends, community, especially if our home lives didn’t provide that for us. And let’s be honest: if you’re Gen X like me, you didn’t get that at home.
And that, my friend, is why we feel guilt.
Taking pleasure in something that’s not mainstream, or gods forbid, not liking some that is mainstream (I was called weird for not liking the TV show Friends) singles you out. You don’t belong. You can’t sit with us. You know the feeling. I know I do. But if we admit that we feel guilt while doing it, that somehow makes it better.
Huh?
That makes zero sense.
Think about it. Who are you trying to impress? Some ethereal “they”? Society? Your family? Your friends?
Come on! Seriously?
I’m going to say something you may not like: STOP GIVING AWAY YOUR POWER TO PEOPLE WHO DON’T MEAN ANYTHING TO YOU!
That is what you’re doing when you feel/admit guilt over something you enjoy. You hand them the keys to your peace, and allow them to judge you. No one in your life should be judging you for liking ASMR videos of a dude washing really dirty rugs(seriously, hit up YT. They’re awesome). If they do, toss them. The people, not the rugs.
It’s time for you to break free of guilt, which is really an emotion taught to us by people who want to keep us in our “place”.
So go eat the middles out of your Oreos and throw out the cookie. Listen to that serial killer podcast while relaxing in the tub. Go be you! And give a big middle finger to anyone who thinks your weird for it.
Time to go feral, my friend!
#teamboghag
Lang
Oh to "fit in". It felt so out of reach. I remember telling my parents that I hated them because I wanted braces and glasses like the rest of my friends. I didn't need them though. I even tried convincing my dentist to convince my parents that I needed braces.
Thanks for the reminder that fitting in isn't all it's cracked up to be. And for reminding me that there should be no feelings of guilt when it comes to something I enjoy.